You think it went well.
You had a nice chat. There was a little flirting going on. He seemed comfortable with you.
Then it was time to go.
You could tell he was ready. The quiet stretches grew longer. He kept shifting in his seat.
You kept waiting for him to say, “It was nice meeting you,” and stand up, but he seemed unsure how to proceed.
Is it really that hard to end a date? you wonder.
Which Is More Important:
The First Impression or the Last?
That first moment you see a man feels like the most important moment of the whole date.
With just one glance, you take in a ton of information about him. You see what he’s wearing, how he holds himself, whether he’s smiling.
If you’re favorably impressed, you’ll put more effort into the date.
But that first impression is only an impression.
As you get to know him, you may find yourself smiling and laughing and warming to his unique way of seeing the world.
As the date comes to a close, you wonder if he might have potential.
You won’t know for sure until you see how the date ends.
And the end of a date is much more difficult to get right than the beginning.
Last Impressions LAST
Even over the course of a short coffee date, you have a lot of chances to adjust someone’s first impression of you.
But the last time they see you is a defining moment.
He won’t know at the beginning of a date whether he wants to get to know you better, but he’ll know by the end.
He’ll be looking for clues in the way YOU say goodbye, to figure out how you feel about him.
Entrepreneur Mika Salmi puts it plainly:
“First impressions count, but last impressions are forever.”
So how do you make sure things end on a high note?
Is there something you can say to make the ending smooth and positive?
3 Ways to Exit a Date Gracefully
Sometimes guys need help ending dates.
More than that, guys don’t always know when a date should end.
Short and sweet first dates pack a punch. They leave you feeling curious about each other.
So don’t feel as if you should leave it up to him.
Look for the moment when the energy of the date begins to flag, then start giving him cues that it’s time to wrap up.
Those cues should not only signal that your time together is coming to a close, but they should also let him know whether you’d be open to seeing him again.
Here are 3 ways to wrap up a conversation while also giving him a green light.
1. Future plans: “So what have you got going on this weekend?”
If the date is going well and you’d like to see him again, you can wrap up the date by asking him what he’s got planned for the rest of the day, for the weekend, or for the upcoming holiday.
Your goal isn’t to get him to include you in those plans. It’s to shift gears, so you start thinking about what’s happening next.
After he tells you about his plans, you can respond with something like, “Sounds fantastic. Hope you have an awesome time.” That sends a clear message: it’s time to say goodbye.
2. Follow-up: “Flick me a message sometime with the name of that band.”
If you talked about an interesting book or a favorite band or a great TV show, ask him to send you a link so you can find out more.
Suggesting a follow-up gives him an excuse to contact you again. It’s an invitation to keep chatting, even if neither of you are sure whether a second date is in the cards.
3. Compliment: “Your story made my day.”
When a guy hears, “It’s been nice meeting you,” he knows he’s being dismissed.
He doesn’t want it to be NICE.
He wants it to be awesome! Fun! Cool! ANYTHING but nice.
If you really like this guy, avoid telling him that he’s really nice, or you had a nice time, or it’s been nice.
Give a compliment that packs a punch.
Tell him that something he did, or something he said, made your day.
That comment lets you revisit one of the most memorable moments of your time together and lets him know that he’s made a favorable impression.
Then you can start gathering up your coat and purse.
He may or may not follow up on the lead you just left him. But he’ll bid goodbye with the understanding that you’ve left a door open.
And sometimes that’s all guys are looking for:
An open door that makes it easy to see you again.